E is for Emotional Intimacy
By Trina Titus Lozano
Somewhere on the way to the twenty-first century, it seems as if the majority of middle-class parents decided that it would be a good thing to work them to death and then just for good measure, they decided to work their children to death too. Families become so outer-directed, so focused on producing, earning, spending, ministering, giving, and then earning some more to keep up with the next round of spending, that there is hardly any time left for anything else. “Anything else” being: family, joy, laughter, feelings, play, and dreaming, among others. The basic emotions that human beings experience are all good, healthy emotions. Even anger, sadness, hurt, guilt, fear, loneliness and grieving are all good emotions.People are so focused on deadlines, goals, schedules, meetings, lessons, practices, phones, faxes, and production that many are now stuck in a horrifying dissociation from their feelings. Dissociation is another way of saying disconnection, separation or being oblivious. Families desire an emotional intimacy but instead are left feeling busy, confused, numb and sadly unloved.Driven parents produce children who are themselves driven to fill in the void left by being emotionally neglected.Take time to evaluate the emotional health of your family. Be honest about how busy everyone is and take a step to cut back on activities and commitments. Be sure that there is time to actually sit down to dinner several nights a week where you can talk comfortably and warmly, knowing that someone doesn’t have to rush off to yet another meeting or practice. You may need to get a smaller house to afford working less.Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to be on vacation to watch a movie together or play a game as a family? Imagine that Sunday is actually a day of rest. There is time to pray together, cry together, and laugh together on a daily basis. Soon you’ll look around and notice that everyone is happier, healthier and interacting with intimate feelings that only an emotionally bonded family has.
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