Hospitality—a Value of Serving
By Devi Titus and Marilyn Weiher
Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
I Peter 4:9
A Heart Attitude
The true meaning of hospitality lies in the attitude of the heart. Your attitude should reflect a desire to warm the heart and refresh the spirit of  your guests. This attitude is demonstrated by your active presence as you direct your full, heartfelt attention toward your guests. All the planning and preparation should say, “I’m glad you’re here!”
. . . we were especially delighted at the joy of Titus, because you have
all set his mind at rest, soothing and refreshing his spirit.
2 Corinthians 7:13b AB
Four easy steps:
Step 1 Pray for your guests.
Step 2 Plan for your guests.
Step 3 Prepare for your guests.
Step 4 Welcome your guests.
Hospitality Begins at the Front Door
But no stranger had to spend the night in the street,
for my door was always open to the traveler.
Job 31:32
• A freshly trimmed yard, lovely front door wreath, blooming plants, and hospitality candles in the windows are just a few things that say, “Welcome!” as guests approach your front door.
• Always leave your front porch light on for guests.
• The foyer should have great eye appeal since this is the first part of your home the guests see.
• Avoid leaving muddy play shoes, gloves, umbrellas, schoolbook bags, and other items at the front door.
Greeting Guests at the Door
• Always meet your guests at the door with a friendly smile and eye contact to let them know you are glad to see them.
• As guests come inside, welcome them with open arms. A handshake or a hug will help to say, “You are important to me.”
• Soft background music adds to the friendly atmosphere.
• Your guests know that you were expecting them if they see the table already set.
• Walk your guests to the door and be sure they have everything they came with—hats, gloves, coats, etc.
• When appropriate, give your guest something to take home. For example, when entertaining an elderly person who lives alone, pack containers with some of the leftover food and desert so they can enjoy a meal the following day.
• Whenever appropriate say a prayer with your guests before they leave. An edifying prayer of encouragement will warm their hearts and speak of your love for them.
• Walk your guests to their car. Wait until they leave the driveway before returning indoors. Send them off with a friendly smile and a big wave goodbye. This has always been a tradition in my family.
• Check the walkway for snow or ice in cold weather. Quickly clear a path. Offer to assist an elderly guest to her car.
• If road conditions are treacherous or snow covered, ask your guests to call you when they get home so that you know they have arrived safely.
• If you are entertaining a single mom with small children, toys, and diaper bags to tote, always help her pack the car and get the children safely fastened in.
Hospitality Enjoyed—Have Fun at Your Own Party
Plan Your Work, Then Work Your Plan
• Plan ahead. Make a “To Do” list and date when each task should be completed. Leave yourself a margin of time. Extra time allows for unexpected drawbacks.
• Delegate work to other family members. Make it fun as you involve the children and your spouse in the preparation. This is a great way for your children to learn the art of hospitality.
• Plan activities for your party. Volleyball, ping pong, board games or playing cards are a few activities at an informal gathering that can entertain just about anyone.
• Itemize areas in which you will need assistance, such as serving drinks, replacing ice, receiving coats. Select an outgoing, talkative person to help your guests get acquainted and mingle. Solicit your helpers in advance.
You Create the Tone
• The host and hostess always set the tone of the party. If they are happy and relaxed, their guests will respond in like manner.
• Don’t be worried or distracted. Remember the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was worried and distracted by last minute preparations. Jesus told Martha that Mary, who sat relaxed at and visited with him, had chosen the better way. Luke 10:38-42
• Complete tasks in advance so that you can be free to focus your attention upon your guests.
• Keep a positive attitude. Avoid negative thoughts about your home, your own inadequacies, food preparation, weaknesses in your guests, etc.
Avoid Stressful Situations
• Maintain a peaceful atmosphere among family members as you prepare for guests. Stay calm and avoid harsh words or arguments.
• Make sure you have more than enough food and beverages.
• Know your guests’ likes and dislikes. If you are entertaining a person who is diabetic or has food allergies, be sure to provide food that they can eat.
• Be sure to have plenty of places to sit. You want people to be comfortable.
• Stay relaxed about messes and spills. Although some spills must be cleaned immediately, others can wait until after your guests leave.
Hospitality Atmosphere
Preparing for a Time of Warm Fellowship
Make your home inviting by adding special touches that will stimulate emotions and set a mood. Below are some suggestions that may transform your entertaining from an ordinary occasion to a memorable event.
Orderly Home Atmosphere
• Your guests will feel most welcome in a home that is clutter-free and clean in appearance.
• Wait to do the heavy cleaning and vacuuming after guests have left.
• Try to maintain a clean and uncluttered kitchen, bathroom, family room, and living room as much as possible. In this way you are already prepared to entertain guests—even at short notice.
• Sometimes guests come unannounced. If so, there is no need to apologize if your floor is dirty or your furniture dusty. Remember that the guests came to see you, not your house.
• Do not continue to clean your house after guests arrive. Focus your attention on them.
Create a Mood with Fresh Flowers and Greenery
• Fresh flowers or greenery will be a spectacular addition to your table, counter, and/or living room. Experiment with different kinds of foliage.
• Choose what is in season. Use fresh pinecones, holly leaves, wintergreens, or cranberries to add a cozy touch during the winter. Tulips, daffodils, lilies or other flowers can be used in the springtime. During summer months add flowers and greenery from your garden or purchase inexpensive bouquets for a beautiful centerpiece. During the fall season colorful leaves, unique squash, and mums furnish your home with a festive appearance.
• When on a tight budget, use summer wild flowers and greenery for a centerpiece. This same principle can be applied to the other seasons. For example, use pinecones and holly during winter.
Create a Mood with Music
• Music can be made louder when guests are first arriving to eliminate the awkward silences often experienced during introductions. After conversations get moving, lower the volume.
• Be sensitive when playing music. Do not have it so loud that the guests have to shout to be heard.
Outdoor Party Atmosphere
Create a warm inviting atmosphere by adding special touches to let your guests know they are welcome. First, decide upon the type of event.
• Keep food covered until you are ready to serve it. This will keep bees and flies out of the food.
• To keep things simple set up a buffet table in the kitchen or dining room. Have guests fill their plates and take them outside.
• Be sure you have comfortable seating for your guests.
• Be sensitive to the needs of your guests. If they seem to be bothered by mosquitoes or cold temperature, be prepared to move the party inside.
• Evening entertaining may call for outdoor lanterns, candles, music, tablecloths, and a centerpiece of fresh flowers.
Hospitality in Return
How to be a Good House Guest
Mix and mingle. The most interesting person at a party is always the one most interested in others. As a guest you want to hear the words: “Come visit us again!” These guidelines will help you on your way to becoming the ideal houseguest.
Arrival and Departure
• Be considerate about being on time. Arriving too early may catch the host unprepared. Whereas, arriving too late may cause a great amount of inconvenience, even spoiling a meal prepared for you. If you are unavoidably detained, phone your host regarding your delay and when you expect to arrive.• Know when it is time to leave. Be sensitive to the needs of your host. If the party ends at 10:00 p.m., don’t stay longer unless specifically asked.• When leaving, avoid making your good-bye lengthy. Some guests stand at the door and talk for another 20 minutes. • Here are tips to help you recognize when it is time to call it a night:
- Their children or yours are getting fussy. It is probably past bedtime.
- Your host seems tired and is yawning a lot
- You are aware that your host needs to arise early in the morning.
- Your host thanks you for coming and stands up.
- If the host receives an important phone call or some unexpected event occurs, suggest leaving and visiting again at a more convenient time.
Bring a Gift
• Be sensitive, trying to bring a gift suitable to the length of your visit.
• Try to discover in advance your host’s taste or style.
• Some examples of appropriate gifts include a plant, food, specialty tea, flavored coffee, a book, a CD, boxed candy, or a gift basket.
• Avoid exotic gifts that may not compliment their décor.
House Guest Etiquette
• Do not bring animals with you. Make other arrangements for the care of your pet.
• Don’t clutter. Whether you are visiting for just one day or staying overnight, pick up after yourself and your children. Ask where you can store your purse, diaper bag, coat, or other items so they will be out of the way.
• Train your children in advance concerning table etiquette, respecting the host’s property, speaking quietly, not running in the house, and not fighting. Then remind them just prior to your arrival.
• If your young children make a mess, it is your responsibility to clean it up.
• Report anything broken or damaged to your host. Offer to replace the item and then do so.
• At an informal dinner, offer to help with preparation and clean up.
• When the host is trying to get the meal to the table, don’t engage in intense conversation since meal preparation usually requires concentration by the hostess.
Practice Good Table Manners
The Etiquette section of this book fully addresses table manners. Even if you have not become proficient in all etiquette rules, these are just a few, easy-to-remember actions that will put you at ease and will honor your hosts.
• Be kind. Kindness is the foundation for all etiquette
• Keep your hands in your lap when you do not have a utensil in them. Don’t lay your left arm on the beautifully prepared table.
• Be joyful, conversational and complimentary.
If you forget everything else and just do these three things, you will have a wonderful time and so will your hosts.
Overnight Guests Tips
• Travel light. Pack only what is necessary, but come prepared with your own shower kit, adequate clothing, pain medicine, antacids, and whatever else you will need to avoid borrowing items or creating inconvenience to your host.
• Keep the bathroom clean. After showering, clean out the tub or shower stall. Never leave hair in the drain for someone else to clean.
• Remove your personal belongings from the bathroom after each use. In some cases the towels you are using should also be removed to the room where you are sleeping to provide space for others. Be sure to put them on hangers to dry.
• Ask the host what time the day will begin. Never sleep in past the appointed time. You may delay breakfast or an early morning outing the host has planned.
• Make your bed each morning, leaving the room neat and tidy.
• Be sensitive to the host family’s normal bedtime. Don’t keep them up late at night if they are accustomed to retiring early.
• Maintain control of your children at all times. It is never the host’s responsibility to watch or correct your children.
• Cancel the visit if someone in your party is ill. It is unkind to take sickness into someone else’s home.
• Never throw a soiled baby diaper into a wastebasket. Bring a small plastic bag for used diapers. Ask the host where you can dispose of them.
• Offer to take your host and family out for a meal. This will give them a welcomed break from meal preparation.
• As a general rule never stay longer than three days. Have you ever heard the expression that after three days both your laundry and guests begin to stink!
Let your foot seldom be in your neighbor’s house,
least he become tired of you and hate you.
Proverbs 25:17 AB
Follow-up Courtesies
• Always send a thank you card expressing your sincere appreciation.
A word aptly spoken
is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Proverbs 25:11
• Plan to extend an invitation to your own home. If you feel that your house is unsuited for accommodating guests, plan an outing in your back yard, at a park, or at a local favorite restaurant.
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