Oneness: Called to Ministry
Matthew 19:5 says, “the two will become one flesh.” Many people have questioned what I do in ministry because I’m not a front person; I’m not a speaker per se. I don’t teach a Sunday school class, and I definitely don’t play the piano. But let me explain to you what I do do.
One summer, when my husband, Jack, was speaking at a summer camp, I got a word from the Lord through another gentleman who was speaking at the camp – his name was Brian. After Brian prayed over me, he told me that the Lord had a word for me; Jack was to be my ministry. And what a good call that was on God’s part, because Jack is an amazing man of God - but he needs me! … God is so wise to have made one flesh out of the spontaneous man and the practical woman – by bringing us together, by calling us together, by causing our home and ministry to thrive.
Sharing in the QualificationsIn 1Timothy and in Titus, we see the qualifications of a bishop or pastor (see Tim. 3:1-13; Titus 1:5-9). Because we are one flesh with our husbands, those qualifications rest upon us, too in our daily life.
BlamelessOne of the qualifications for pastors is to be blameless (see Tim. 3:2). That doesn’t mean we’re perfect; it just means we’re growing. And as long as we continue to seek the Lord first, then we will continue to grow and the Lord will make that provision in our lives for us.
MonogamousI’m very happy about this qualification because it says that a pastor should be the husband of one wife (see 1 Tim. 3:12). I think that’s a very good arrangement; however, I thought if that other wife could be the one who did all the vacuuming and that kind of stuff, it might be kind of nice for me to have a helper!
Nor a Lover of MoneyIt says that we’re not supposed to be lovers of money (see 1 Tim. 3:3). I don’t think many of us have to worry about that; however, I want to give you a little illustration from when Jack and I were young in ministry. We had five dollars a week to spend on food – we got a bit more once the first two kids came along. I was praying one day because we were at the point where we had to watch every penny. I said, “Lord, why is it that we have given You our lives; we’ve given You everything we have; we’re serving You; we live for You; and we pay tithes and give our offerings and still we have to watch every penny? I mean, there are people in the world who seemingly have all the money they want – they don’t have to worry about a thing financially.” At about that point I felt the Lord whisper to my heart, “They don’t get to trust Me either.” And I thought, Oh Lord that is really a privilege – thank You, thank You, thank You. …
Have Faithful ChildrenThe next qualification is that the pastor has faithful children (see Tim. 1:6). I think this is one of our biggest practical duties: to raise our children to be faithful to the Lord, to be secure in themselves, to not resent the ministry but to grow up loving Jesus with all their heart. The Lord in this case, helps us as pastors’ wives to grow in grace, trust, faith and wisdom. We learn to trust in Him – to trust Him with our children. He’s more concerned about their well-being than we are. He loves them more than we do, and He knows the plans He has for their lives.
HospitableScripture goes on to say that pastors must practice hospitality (see Titus 1:8). Speaking of my own life, I have had no choice in this area because my husband is extremely hospitable. I mean, I never knew how many we were gong to have for dinner. He would call me up five minutes before he got home and say, “So-and-so is coming home for dinner with me”; and so another potato would go in the pot and we would be ready when the guests arrived.
I want to urge you to entertain in your homes. There is no greater blessing than to welcome people into your home, to invite them to share in your life, if only for a short while. …
Self-ControlledThe next qualification is that pastors be self-controlled (see Titus 1:8), and that’s where the kids come in again. I don’t know about you, but my kids have not always been perfect. Yes, mine are very good children. But they’re not perfect children; they haven’t reached perfection any more than I’ve reached perfection. So we have to have a great deal of self-control in dealing with our kids and addressing their failures and rebellion with honesty and compassion.
TransparentScripture tells us that pastors should have a good reputation (see 1 Tim. 3:5). What’s the best way to protect a good reputation? Through transparency that requires accountability. Jack and I have always been extremely transparent with our congregation; sometimes that has been a great embarrassment to me because he’s not afraid to tell them if we have had an argument on the way to church. And he will say, “Isn’t it just like the devil to cause some kind of friction on the way to church? …
It’s not just for our sake that we are transparent with our congregation. When you are transparent in the presence of the church, your members can say, “What a comfort! If they have to face those things and come out victorious, so can I.” …
